How to keep your relationship safe from the invasion of the smartphones
Today Smart phones have become ubiquitous in homes. Be it the bedroom, or the kitchen or even the bathrooms, no place is alien to smart phones. We keep them with us all the time, every time, and get so worried and anxious when we can’t find or place our smart phones. This is a reality in so many households.
It is true that technology has made it possible for a smart phone to be so many things to us today. From the time you wake up, it can be your alarm clock, your calendar for your schedule, a diary to take notes, music and games for your entertainment, cameras to capture moments, tracker for your fitness, delivering news, a window to search for new things to learn and so on. No wonder smart phones have become all-pervasive. Smart phones and tablets have even replaced pacifiers for children. It is easy to become over dependent, over involved, and over use these truly smart devices. Not their fault of course.
Read here about how smartphones and devices take over your relationship.
6 ways to reclaim your life and relationships from the smart phone invasion.
- Define smart phones free zone in your home like your bedroom, dining room etc.
Conversations and interactions usually build in specific zones in your home like your dining room. A space for Intimacy with your partner could possibly be your bedroom. Allowing the smart phones to encroach these zones would mean the quality of conversations and the quality of intimacy would get affected adversely.
- When you are spending quality time with your partner or with your family, keep mobile phones on silent and keep them away perhaps in a different room.
For example – when you are spending time, playing with your children, focus on the same and invest your complete attention there. When you have a smart phone in hand and also try to engage your children at the same time, it would be a halfhearted effort.
- When you are having an important conversation or any difficult argument, try to avoid doing it over texts.
If the issue escalates on a voice call, put it on hold, take a time out, and insist that you both resolve it face to face. Express yourself in a healthy manner, to your partner face to face. You can express your anger, frustration, irritation as well as your love, affection and concern better, in person, face to face. If there has been any misunderstandings based upon your texting, clarify it at the earliest in person.
- When you go out for a lunch or dinner with your partner, ensure your phone is on silent and inside your bag, not on the table and not in your pocket either.
Conversations build relationships. Quality conversations help you understand each other better, appreciate each other better and feel closer and connected with each other. Keep your smart phone out of sight and out of hearing as well. Switch off the notifications or put it on silent mode. You can always set your phone up, to accept only calls, just from your favorite or important contacts. Prioritize the person in front of you rather than the messages on your smart phone.
- Resist the urge to put up everything on Social media.
Experience life, by being present and mindful and creating those memories and images in your mind first, rather than trying to look at the world through your camera and capturing it to put it on your Instagram or Facebook. Live the life, relish the beauty in your mind, and live the moment.
- Make a plan and put the plan into action.
Though most of these points may seem obvious, it is practically difficult to implement them because of your habits that keep you hooked on to the smart phones. Commit to your plan. You could even install digital wellbeing apps that can help you monitor your usage on your smart phone and help you track your progress.
About the Author:
Kala Balasubramanian is a certified Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. As a professional counsellor she provides a supportive, understanding, professional and confidential environment to work with clients – Individuals and Couples explore their emotions, help them understand and manage their challenges, relationships and stress better.