In today’s fast-changing relationship landscape, love alone no longer feels like enough. Across Indian cities, a quiet yet powerful shift is unfolding, more individuals and couples are seeking guidance from professionals, choosing premarital counselling before marital commitment, and as a deliberate step toward healthier, stronger relationships.  And the reasons are both cultural and psychological.

Inner Dawn counsellor Kala Balasubramanian’s views featured in Deccan Herald on 21 January 2026.

https://www.deccanherald.com/lifestyle/spike-in-premarital-counselling-3869069

According to a recent Deccan Herald article, therapists in Bengaluru are witnessing a steady increase in demand for premarital counselling from couples, live-in partners, and individuals preparing for first or second marriages who are seeking relationship guidance, either before tying the knot or to resolve issues in their relationships.

Why Is Premarital Counselling Gaining Popularity?

More people are realising that marriage is not just a romantic decision, but a psychological, emotional and practical partnership.  But this involves other important conversations and agreements on different topics like money, boundaries, future plans, having children, family involvement, etc. Clients seek the support of the counsellor to facilitate these conversations.

Some key reasons behind this rise include:

• Growing awareness about mental health
• Reduced stigma around therapy
• Increased divorce rates prompting prevention over repair
• Diminishing support from family and friends
• Second marriages bring emotional, financial, and family complexities
• Couples wanting deeper compatibility before commitment

Premarital counselling is no longer seen just as a “problem-solving” tool, but also as a way to strengthen relationships and prepare for the relationship responsibilities.

Who can benefit from this process?

Most folks who seek premarital counselling are between 25 and 35 years, though a growing number of individuals in their 40s and beyond are also reaching out, especially those entering second marriages.

This includes:

• Couples who are in a relationship and considering a live-in or marriage
• Live-in partners who may or may not be planning for marriage
• Engaged couples in a love marriage or arranged marriage setting
• Individuals who are considering marriage but are feeling unsure or unclear about it
• Individuals and couples preparing to remarry  

For many, this is about not repeating old patterns and building something healthier this time around.

What Happens in Premarital Counselling?

It is important to get into a marital relationship with expectations that are reasonable and an understanding of what the marital relationship means to both partners.  Lack of knowledge about what marriage entails, the responsibilities that need to be managed, may result in disillusionment and failure of the marital relationship itself. Premarital counselling provides a safe space to explore:

• Communication styles and emotional needs
• Conflict patterns and repair strategies
• Financial beliefs and lifestyle expectations
• Family roles, day-to-day sharing of responsibilities
• Intimacy, trust, and long-term goals
• Conversations around difficult topics like money, boundaries, etc.

Rather than avoiding difficult conversations, couples learn how to have them safely before stress and misunderstandings take root.

How can it help Especially for Second Marriages

Second marriages often carry unspoken fears, past wounds, blended family concerns, and financial complexities. Especially when there are children, co-parenting, visitations involved, etc., there will be a need for continued contact with the ex-spouse/ex-partner, which can create insecurities in the new relationship. Premarital Counselling helps individuals heal unresolved emotional baggage, build trust at a realistic pace, clarify expectations and boundaries, and prevent repeating old relationship scripts.  Instead of “hoping this time will be different,” premarital counselling helps make it intentionally different.

Is Premarital Counselling Right for You?

Marriage is no longer just about tradition or timing. It is about emotional readiness, shared values, and conscious choice. Premarital counselling offers couples a way to step into commitment with clarity rather than confusion. The rise in premarital counselling is not a sign that relationships are weaker; it is proof that people are choosing to be wiser.

• You may benefit from pre-marital counselling if you
• Want deeper emotional understanding of yourself and your partner
• Struggle to communicate during conflict
• Feel unsure about long-term compatibility
• Are entering a second marriage
• Unsure of commitment/marriage/relationship expectations

Think of premarital counselling as a relationship fitness plan. If you are planning to marry, whether for the first or second time, consider premarital counselling as a meaningful first step.

Because love is the beginning. Understanding and growing together is what sustains it.

The post Premarital Counselling, need of the hour in India first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.

Are your parents pressurizing you to get married and you don’t want to or don’t want to yet? This is a fairly common occurrence in Indian families.  Here are 4 important conversations to have with your parents.

As a counsellor, I see many clients struggling to explain to their parents, what their preferences are with respect to marriage, whether they want to or not. If they want to, then the kind of person that they would want as their partner and when or whether they feel they are ready for a commitment like marriage.  Disagreements impairs open communication and they find themselves at logger heads with parental expectations.

1. Understand the reasons why they want you married:

Your parents may believe that marriage will make you happy secure and supported.  They may feel social pressure from relatives to handle questions from them as to why you are not married yet. They may want you to be taken care of once they are not around anymore. They want to see their grandchildren and to have that experience through you. Having an open conversation with your parents about this and getting clarity as to their reasons, would help you have a balanced dialogue with them and help them also feel heard.

This also helps you understand how they feel about your stance regarding marriage. Are they feeling frustrated and angry, fear/worry for your future, longing and anticipation etc.

2. Empathize with your parents:

Understanding where they come from and empathising with them is important, for despite their good intention, their approaches might not sit well with you. This gives you a chance to truly acknowledge and address their fear or worry. If there is a fear about your future without a family, then address it by sharing your plans for the same. It is possible that you may need more time to choose your partner or if you don’t want to get married, what is your plan to secure your own future, old age, infirmity etc. If their concern is about dealing with pesky relatives and others, you can perhaps offer to deal with them directly in a better manner. 

3. Clarify and offer your reasons:

Your parents may come from a mindset that certain events need to happen at certain age in your life the way it happened in theirs. And they may have a template about how a family should look like, what happiness is etc. It is possible that your definition of happiness, fulfilment, family, security, support etc could be different from theirs. It is possible that they may not get convinced with your point of view, but it is fair that you offer them your reasons and what you see as your happiness, fulfilment, security in your life.

You also may want to explain your stance regarding children and how it is your responsibility to consider it seriously to make a decision, rather than assume that as a default choice.

4. Parents may need reassurance from you.

Offer them reassurance that you would decide about when, whether and who is right for you. They may consider it their responsibility or duty to get you married. If you would prefer to make a decision by yourself, it is important that you reassure them that you are willing to take the responsibility on your shoulders and you would take decisions when and if it is right for you and how you would prefer their involvement in the process.

Read more on when is the right time and what are your reasons to get married? Here is a reality check. And here are some of the key factors that you need to consider before you decide to get married

If you are still unable to communicate effectively with each other, family counselling, individual counselling, pre-marital counselling could help you find ways to communicate better in your family.

About the Author:

Kala Balasubramanian is a certified Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. As a trained therapist, she provides professional and confidential counselling services including Individual counselling and Couples counselling / Marriage counselling.

Currently with the COVID-19 situation, all counselling services are offered online over video calls. Reach us at +91 9632146316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in.

The post 4 key conversations with parents on pressure to get married first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.

Marriage could be the beginning of a new beautiful chapter in life where one can find happiness, fulfillment and security. But it can flourish if both partners are willing to put in the effort to nurture and nourish each other. Cater to each others needs at the same time ensure that their own needs are met. If the couple go into it thinking that it will be a bed of roses and they’ll live happily ever after – without consistent effort from both sides, it is not a good place that they are headed to. Today Premarital counselling services are easily accessible to address such aspects upfront.

Pre-marital counselling could facilitate this process, addressing any misconceptions, misunderstandings, to understand each other better, to understand ones own readiness and motivations to get married. It also helps both partners to openly discuss and address difficult topics like career, finances, boundaries, friends, intimacy etc.

Premarital counselling could help address any past baggage or trauma from previous relationships. This would help the person not carry their past issues in to the new relationship and retain the learning from the past.

Inner Dawn Counsellor Kala Balasubramanian’s views featured on Deccan Herald on 10-Oct-19.

https://www.deccanherald.com/metrolife/metrolife-cityscape/pre-marital-counselling-not-so-rare-any-more-767259.html

The post Premarital counselling-Deccan herald-Kala’s views featured first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.