7 Myths around Counselling and Therapy Debunked
In 10 years of my professional practice as a psychotherapist I have heard this statement from many of my clients after they have been in therapy for a while. That they wished that they were aware of such a support available and hadn’t hesitated to seek support for themselves earlier. Sadly, there is still a lot misconceptions and myths around counselling and therapy. Though I have seen progress in last 10 years it still pains me to see that there is still a lot of hesitation around seeking support from counselling or therapy.
In this video I would attempt to debunk certain myths and misconceptions regarding counselling or therapy. Here is the verbatim of this video in this article. You may see me use these two terms counselling and psychotherapy interchangeably, But there are some differences and I will make a video about it later. but in the current context these myths that I am going to debunk are equally applicable to both.
Myth number 1 : Only weak people seek counselling
That can be nothing farther from the truth in this regard. Most of the clients that I work with are healthy, intelligent, smart, strong, happy and pretty successful In most part of their lives. Seeking help and support does not mean that you are weak. As a matter of fact it takes a lot of strength and courage to ask for help when you actually need it.
Myth number 2 : If you are in counselling it means something is wrong with you or you should have a serious mental health issue.
Not really. Mental health issues like depression and anxiety or any significant psychological disorders may need treatment and therapy can benefit them. And mental health issues are as common and normal as physical health issues. Having said that counselling and therapy can benefit everyone. People seek counselling for dealing with their stress, relationship issues or improvement, parenting challenges, work life balance, grief and so on.
Myth 3 : The counsellor will solve my problems. The Counsellor will give me solutions and advise me as to what I should do.
The Counsellor neither offers instant solutions nor gets into doling out advices. Counselling is a collaborative process where you and your counsellor would work together as a team. Though the counsellor brings onto the table their understanding of psychology, human behaviour, methodologies, frameworks etc, at the end of the day you are the expert in your life.
We believe that each person has the resources and the capacity to address their own challenges. The counsellor will facilitate the process for you to understand yourself better understand your situation better, to figure out what are the resources that you need, knowledge and skills that you need to acquire and help you in the process of acquiring them so that you are able to move from where you were to where you want to be.
Myth 4 : My therapist would be all sorted and would have no problems in their life
Your therapist is a human being too, and the human condition makes us all vulnerable to challenges in life. Yes your therapist would have done adequate personal work and would be in on going personal therapy themselves to deal with their challenges in a more effective manner. But that does not make them immune to problems or challenges.
It is very common for therapists themselves to have undergone struggles and adverse situations in their personal life. And this can enable them to be more compassionate, understanding, warm and empathetic towards clients. So your therapist may still be facing problems in their life but they actively work on it and on themselves on an ongoing basis.
Myth 5 : The therapist would change me and make me do things that I don’t want to
Nothing really happens in therapy without your consent. You are never asked to do anything in the therapy process that your unwilling to or uncomfortable with. Sometimes the therapist might suggest a process or activity or topic for discussion but you do have the power and agency to accept or say no to it.
It is possible that the changes that you seek can have an impact on your environment or people around you. They may be surprised or react differently. The therapeutic relationship itself could be a positive influence on you but is never used to manipulate or get you to do anything without your consent.
Myth 6 : Let me talk about couple counselling. Couples think they need to come to therapy only when they are about break up or about to get a divorce.
It really saddens me to see that some couples come in to therapy when they have already filed for divorce or about to. But I’ve also seen couples move forward from there and rebuild their relationship when they are able to put their heart and mind into it.
You can seek support from couple therapy when you feel that relationship is in a rut or when you find that conflicts are escalating between the two of you or you are not feeling emotionally connected with each other, Or it is that you want to enhance your relationship and make it stronger and more fulfilling.
Myth 7 : In couple counselling the counsellor / therapist will fix my partner
In couple counselling the therapies actually in does not take sides between the two partners. The therapist is neutral and unbiased and facilitate the process for both to listen and understand each other, does not take a prescriptive view in terms of how relationship should be and would invite both of you to look in words to say how each one of you contributes to the issues at hand.
The therapist doesn’t fix either of you. But facilitates you both to resolve and heal the wounds in your relationship if any, and to make changes in your own self to enhance the relationship.