How do you feel about therapy and your therapist? Do you discuss that with your therapist?
Therapy is a purposeful process that is geared towards the growth of the client. Therapeutic Relationship is a warm, caring and trust based bond between the client and therapist is critical. How do you feel about therapy, and your therapist are some of the key the components of the therapeutic process.
Many a times you might talk about your feelings in the therapy process about things that happens in your own life and circumstances. The Therapist would actively listen to you with empathy and ask appropriate questions or provide relevant information or invite a reflection as needed.
There might also be times when you as the client might have felt angry or upset with your therapist. This could be about what therapist said / did or didn’t say or didn’t do. Sometimes you might experience such feelings without any apparent reasons as well. There also might be times when you may have felt frustrated with the way the therapy process is proceeding. What do you do with these feelings?
It is important that you talk to your therapist about these feelings that might arise now and then about the therapist or the process itself as part of the therapy process.
I usually contract with my clients that even if they feel any unpleasant or uncomfortable feelings, towards me or the process, they would come back and talk to me, share with me, and to process those feelings in the therapy session.
It is common and normal that some of the issues that you experience in your life can, at some point of time, manifest in the therapy setting with your therapist. When you are able to talk about it with your therapist, you might get a new understanding of where it is coming from, make new meaning out of it and it is also possible to have a new experience in the therapeutic relationship which could lead to healing or growth.
Meghana (Client name changed for confidentiality) came into therapy with a complaint that she is not able to maintain good relationships both in her work space and personal life. She believed that she is taken for granted by everyone around her and at some point of time when she is unable to take it anymore she completely breaks away by quitting.
After a period of time in therapy, though she was making progress in certain areas, she also complained of having difficulty sleeping, and there were no other apparent reasons for this discomfort. When I explored our relationship in a session, and encouraged her to talk about how she felt about me the therapist and the process, she expressed her anger towards me, regarding certain statements that I had made, which she had kept bottled up within her.
I listened to her completely, acknowledged her emotions, and we processed this new experience of expressing even difficult emotions in a relationship. Her pattern of keeping her emotions bottled up till the day it bursts open was interrupted in this relationship, giving her a new experience of expressing her anger and frustration and still being accepted and acknowledged.
On exploring further we found that she would bottle up her emotions and anger towards mother during her childhood over a period of time and would burst out at some point of time in tears or in a tantrum for which she was reprimanded which made her bottle up even more. It is this childhood experience which was manifesting in different contexts in her life and in her relationship with the therapist as well. The new experience gave her the confidence and awareness of a choice that she does have an option of expressing herself in better and healthier ways and that her relationships would survive.
About the Author:
Kala Balasubramanian is a certified Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. As a trained therapist, she provides professional and confidential – face to face Counselling in Bangalore including Individual counselling and Couples counselling / Marriage counselling in Bangalore and Online Counselling over video calls for others residing outside Bangalore and abroad.
Reach us at +91 9632146316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in.