Do you know who your friends are? 7 characteristics of a good friend
Earlier this August month we celebrated Friendship Day. It is a good time to consider what friends do we choose in our lives and which relationships we choose to nurture and nourish.
What kind of people are around you determines what kind of life you are going to live. We don’t get to choose the parents whom we are born to. We don’t get to choose children who are born to us. Everyone else around us is a choice that we make. Some choices weigh more heavily on us than others. In this article I am going to talk about the other relationships that we choose, nurture and maintain around ourselves – our friends. I am not talking about the swelling number on social media platforms. I am talking about friends in real, near or far, but in real.
The people around us, in our life determine our quality of life in particular mentally and emotionally. So what kind of people do we want around us? Here are 7 characteristics that a good friend would bring in to your relationship.
- Care for you and want you around:
Have people around who care about what happens to you. Someone who cares for you would check in on you once in a while. You would enjoy their company and they would enjoy yours.
- Share your happiness and divide your sorrows:
You need to be able to share your happiness with them and they would be happy for you. Your success would not make them jealous and insecure. They give you some kind of solace when you share your sorrows.
- Believe in you in times when even You don’t believe in yourself:
There will be difficult times in life when you stop believing in yourself. When people around you believe in you even in these times, you will be able to pick yourself up march ahead.
- With them you can be just yourself:
If you can be just yourself around them, then you have been accepted for who you are. To be able to speak your mind and to share your emotions in a healthy but uninhibited manner, where you don’t feel judged is a privilege.
- They don’t try to manipulate you or control you:
In the interest of supporting you, addressing your problems, make sure that you don’t get manipulated or controlled by others. Remember, what might work for them, might not work for you. Know and set clear and healthy boundaries for your relationship.
- They are your well wishers:
You need people around you who want you to do well, do better, want you to be happy. They are your well wishers and might push you or nudge you a bit when needed.
- They are honest with you. They tell you when you are wrong:
It is important to have people around you who can honestly tell you when you are wrong and not be scared of pointing that out to you. Having said that they would perhaps do it in private and also help you / support you to address the issue at hand or remediate the situation.
Its good to remember that friendship is a two way street. What they offer you, the same you will also need to offer back to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
About the Author:
Kala Balasubramanian is a certified Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. She takes an eclectic approach with different therapeutic modalities like CBT, Gestalt, TA in her work. As a trained therapist, she provides professional and confidential Counselling and Therapy, including Individual counselling and Couples counselling / Marriage counselling.