Defusing repetitive escalating conflicts in couples

Relationship, romance, commitment, family that is the way that most of us want to go about in our life. We yearn to have a bonding, to share our life with our significant other. In the pursuit of that, despite our best intentions, many a times we find ourselves stuck in repetitive escalating conflicts and dissatisfaction in our ability to resolve those conflicts effectively.

In my professional practice of being a Couple therapist and Relationship counsellor I have seen that, romantic feelings are very essential for couple bonding, but they don’t last for ever without consistent effort from both to keep the spark alive. Many couples come together with an expectation of “Happily Ever After” without understanding the effort needed to build that every day. Once they start living together, or get married, slowly they are able to see the reality sans the rose tinted glasses.

How can repetitive escalating conflicts be addressed in therapy? Without dousing the raising flames, the underlying cause of the fire cant be addressed.

My article on De-escalating conflicts in Couples published in “The South Asian Journal Of Transactional Analysis.”

De-Escalating Conflicts in Couples using Interlocking Racket Systems – Page 72.

http://www.saata.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/SAJTA-Volume-6-Number-2-Jul-2020.pdf