Is your child at risk of Suicide? What can parents do?

If you think your child or adolescent is at risk of Suicide what can you do?  If your child talks about suicide and talks about not interested in living what can you do as parents?

In today’s world it is very often, that we see children, adolescents, early adults get stressed out by the challenges, failures, and other stress in life.  Depression and anxiety can result when the child is unable to deal with these challenges or cope with the stress that they experience and can also cause suicidal thoughts and behavior.

If your child or adolescent is depressed or anxious it is important that, as parents you get them the requisite help that they need at the earliest.

Above and beyond that, let’s talk about more urgent/serious situations that you are child might be in.  What do you do when your ward is showing suicidal symptoms, suicidal thoughts, self harm thoughts or behavior?

What are the warning signs that you need to watch out for. If your child or adolescent shows some or any of the following signs, it is an indicator that something is wrong and needs some kind of intervention.

• Showing disinterest in otherwise enjoyable activities, lowered standards of hygiene for a prolonged time period.
• Giving away things to others and closing any pending outstanding items.
• Talks about no point in living, its better that they weren’t alive.
• A sense of helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness.
• Increased or inordinate interest in death and dying.
• Researching on methods of committing suicide, collecting relevant instruments or implements.
• Social isolation, aggressive behavior, risky behavior, self harm.
• Declarations, final statements on social media. Etc.

Some of these can happen as an isolated event as part of the child’s growth and transition process. But when they tend to happen more, along with possible suicidal ideation or behavior, it is high time you intervened.

So as parents what can you do?

1. Stay Calm, don’t panic.

Don’t Panic and react badly. Don’t brush it off either. Stay calm, but it is time to take action.  Don’t blame oneself or your partner either.  Any other conflicts in your family needs to be kept aside till you tide over this.

2. Pay attention. 

Pay attention to what is happening in your child’s life.  Pay attention to what they tell you and what they don’t, to what your child’s regular habits are and whether they have changed drastically in a short period of time.

3. Talk and Listen to your child

Talk to your child. Listen to them.  Do not invalidate your child or adolescent’s pain or troubles.  Do not tell them that you have faced more difficulties in your life compared to your child.  Even when your child is not talking, listen to them.

4. Be aware and be friendly with your teen’s friends, teachers

Be aware of your children’s friends, and be friends with them if possible.  You cannot pick and choose their friends, but acknowledge that friends circle is very important to them. Children or adolescents may confide with their friends, and might have shared suicidal thoughts with their friends.

Touch base with their teachers as appropriate; to check if that has been any drastic change in behavior at school.

5. Be aware of their social media posts

Have the habit of checking your ward’s social media posts. Don’t have to comment or feel the need to engage in social media.  You are not there to snoop on them.  Let them know that you do look at their social media posts.  If you feel that it is important to discuss something, do it in person but in a kind and caring manner.

6. Take it seriously

As parents if you think your child life is at risk or your child has thought about harming themselves, take it very seriously.   If there is any family history of suicide or depression, this increases the risk levels.

7. Try to find out what is bothering them

Talk to your child about what is bothering them? It is OK to ask them if they have been thinking about or considering harming themselves in any manner.  Many a times children are just waiting for someone to ask them, in a loving and supportive manner.

8. Offer them your unconditional love and support.

Make it clear to your child in words and action that you are there for them, no matter what. And that whatever problems that they are facing you are there to support them. And that you will get through this together.  Even if the child is in trouble because of their own fault, it doesn’t mean that the child is bad, but that the behaviour is bad and needs to be corrected.

9. Get them help ASAP.  Watch over them till they get help.

If you think the risk is real, child safety is at risk, take them to a hospital where they can get the requisite support as well as the safety.  You can take the child to any hospital to the emergency room if needed. Child can be evaluated for depression or any other issues as required.  Watch over them closely, till you are able to get help.  Remove any dangerous items from their room or vicinity like sharp objects, ropes, bathroom cleaner, poisonous substances, medications etc.

Do not think of your social standing (and possible unwarranted stigma) but get help for your child immediately.

10. Address the underlying factors without further delay

Once the risk is managed and the child is stable, it is time to evaluate the factors that led to the situation, be it child’s pressures or family issues or other mental health conditions.  Don’t blame the child for any untoward events.  Help them to take responsibility.  This can be done with the help of a Professional and skilled Counsellor or a Psychotherapist or Psychologist.  Personal issues as well as family issues can be addressed with the involvement of the family.    Healthier ways of thinking, managing emotions, coping strategies and handling family issues can be inculcated in the family and the child or adolescent. 

Attempting suicide is no longer a crime in India with the health ministry notifying about the Mental Healthcare Act 2017 that decriminalizes it.   The person needs help, not punishment and shame.  Talking about it takes away the stigma surrounding it.

Here are some Suicide Prevention Helplines in India. 

 

About the Author:

Kala Balasubramanian is certified Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling.  She provides a supportive, understanding, professional and confidential environment to work with clients – Individuals and Couples explore their emotions, help them understand and manage their challenges, relationships and stress better.