Relationship Problems Conflicts

Each situation can be viewed in multiple ways depending on the viewer’s opinions, belief systems, life experiences etc. You can see a glass as half empty or as half full and both viewpoints would be correct.

Conflicts arise in a relationship when the each person involved, looks at a situation in a different way, which they believe to be the only right view point. Conflicts in a relationship cannot be avoided and need not be bad per se. It is the way that the conflict is handled that determines how the relationship gets affected in a positive or negative way.

Why do conflicts escalate beyond control?

Conflicts spiral out of control because the parties involved ignore one of the fundamental components of a healthy relationship – Respect. Conflicts escalate because the people involved are not able to manage the conflict in an effective manner.

When the component – Respect is ignored, they start saying things to each other that are hurtful. Arguments go from focusing on the problem to focusing on the other person. Instead of faulting the action the person is accused. Instead of taking responsibility for addressing the issue, blaming happens. In place of being assertive people become aggressive.

When escalation of a conflict occurs

– Confrontation replaces collaboration.
– Hurting others replaces understanding interests.
– Focus on the original problem is lost.
– Power becomes more important than respect
– Blame replaces taking responsibility

When one is aggressive and the other submissive, though the aggressive person may end the conflict by being forceful, the issue remains unresolved and simmering in the other persons mind. This will come up at a different point in time.

It is possible to manage conflicts to bring it to a resolutions (atleast most of them). It is possible to learn to handle conflicts in such a way that it improves and strengthens the relationship rather than damaging the same.

If you would like to meet with a professional counsellor to deal with your relationship issues, call us at +91 96321 46316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in

We provide professional and confidential counselling services at different locations in Bangalore – Jayanagar, Koramangala, Cox Town, Marathahalli, Mahadevpura.