Today we do live in a world where work life balance has become a cliche. The mad rush and the rat race when it comes to career, financial growth and status has become the norm.

Today our social connections are measured more by the likes and shares and the list of friends on the social networking apps.

It is often found to be a struggle to find the right balance between having flourishing career as well as fulfilling and satisfying close personal relationships, be it family or friends. Research suggests that having a good close personal / social network in the real world has a significant positive influence on one’s health, longevity and happiness.

The ubiquitous use of gadgets and digital connects, though it does brings people back in touch, to establish a meaningful connection, real world interactions are essential. Sadly many a times, these act as a barrier in real world connections. When I mean real world interactions I mean not just posts and likes; forwards and smileys and stickers.

Whether it is family or friends, nurturing and nourishing the relationships are absolutely essential to make them meaningful. Now, this is not a one time one off activity. It needs to be a continuous ongoing effort. Though sometimes the initial excitement and the spark might have gotten dimmed, it is up to you to bring back the spark and shine in these valued relationships.

The most important caution here is to not take these relationships for granted. Sometimes boredom can set in. It is important to show genuine care towards your family and friends, take genuine interest in their life, and be involved.

Emotional connection is the antidote to emotional isolation. Emotional isolation can result from social isolation, superficial relationships, lack of time to truly connect with family and friends, constant digital distractions, focusing on the rat race etc.

Rather than focusing on getting likes on your perfect selfie or holiday pics, rather than gossip and just hangout, if you can focus on strengthening our relationships with family and friends, through real meaningful conversations, true sharing and caring, emotional connections can be strengthened.

About the Author:

Kala Balasubramanian is certified Counselling Psychologist/Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling.  She provides a supportive, understanding, professional and confidential environment to work with clients – Individuals and Couples explore their emotions, help them understand and manage their challenges, relationships and stress better

The post Emotional Connections – for health, longevity and happiness first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.

The concept of midlife is changing every decade.  Some decades back, 50 and above would be mid life.  The last couple of decades, midlife was above 40.  As of now, we call 30s as early mid life and late 30 as the beginning of mid-life.

Mid life is that uncomfortable time when you may start questioning your life choices, regarding your career; life partner; family and friends; and perhaps everything.

It’s a time when you don’t feel secure about the present, may feel regret when you think of the past and feel apprehensive when you think of the future.

Midlife crisis may be about significant emotional impact due to varied events or situations that happen. When some of these happen concurrently, a crisis may get precipitated. This could be hitting a road block in your career, a job loss or change, financial crisis, death of a parent or a loved one, divorce, children becoming fairly independent, sudden illness, near death experience etc.

Mid life crisis can be a period of self-doubt and self esteem issues may come up.  Different parts of your life may get affected.

Work life :  This could be a time when you may feel overwhelmed, feel a loss of purpose or identity.  After achieving a good growth in your career during early years, now your career growth at your profession may stagnate and if you are someone who gets a lot of validation from your work, you can feel unimportant, feel that your work doesn’t make any difference or that you are not being recognized or rewarded for your work. A Job change or a job loss may also make you question your sense of worth.

You may feel regret at lost opportunities or unfulfilled potential, question the decisions made earlier in life and the validity of those decisions.

Personal life : You may feel anger towards your life partner and may resent many things that you liked earlier. You may feel that the relationship has kept you from achieving your potential in other areas.

Your sex life may hit a low and you could possibly feel attracted to someone outside and crave for an intense intimate relationship.

For home makers, this is the time when children become more independent. This could make you kind of feel redundant questioning the value of yourself and an overall feeling of lack of direction.

Body Image : Mid life could bring about doubts about yourself.  It could make you feel a sense of loss of youth and beauty and strength.  Wrinkles may creep in, your waist line may increase, greys appear or increase, physical exertions could leave you panting for breathe.

You may end up questioning your own value and worth on account of this. This also may lead you to avoid doing things that interests you or that you used to have fun doing.

Mid-life need not become a crisis. But if it does, seek support for yourself.  Talking to a counsellor / therapist, who is supportive and accepting can help deal with your situation in a more effective manner.

Read more on how to deal with Midlife Crisis in our next post , Dealing with Mid-life Crisis.

If you would like to meet with a professional counsellor call us at +91 96321 46316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in

We provide professional and confidential counselling services at different locations in Bangalore – Jayanagar, Koramangala, Cox Town, Marathahalli, Mahadevpura.

The post What is Mid-Life Crisis? first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.

Prioritize your activities both work and at home – Based on Steven Covey’s Time Management Matrix categorize your activities and prioritize accordingly.

Urgent and important – Priority 1
Not urgent and important – Priority 2
Urgent and Unimportant – Priority 3
Not urgent and unimportant – Priority none

Covey calls Priority 1 items as “fires” that need to be put out immediately. Too much time here can lead to stress issues and burn out.

Plan at least one activity a week that you do just for your own enjoyment and satisfaction (this should be part of Priority 2 activities). Adequate focus on Priority 2 will lead to reduction in Priority 1 Items.

Priority 3 activities are not important to you. They are important to someone else. Learn to say ‘NO’ where ever appropriate in an assertive way.

Drop the “Priority none” activities. They drain your energy and add no value to you.

Plan for quality time with the family. When you spend nurturing time with your spouse and children, the environment will provide nurturing for you. Home is the place where you should be able to replenish your batteries. That will happen only if you assign enough importance and primacy to your home environment. The love and nurturing makes the house a home. Else it would remain just walls and a roof with furniture within. Stop comparing yourself and your family to others and add pressure on to yourself. Know that Peer pressure is that which you put on yourself.

If you would like to meet with a professional counsellor, call us at +91 96321 46316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in

We provide professional and confidential counselling services at different locations in Bangalore – Jayanagar, Koramangala, Cox Town, Marathahalli, Mahadevpura.

The post Work-Life Balance first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.