It is an established fact across different roles/designations/Companies across the globe that pressure and stress levels have consistently been on the upward move. And it is also established that loneliness is the next major Global epidemic across age groups.

The recent news about suicide of Cafe Coffee Day (CCD) chain founder VG Siddhartha has sent shock waves across the spectrum of corporates as well as the commoners who have ever experienced coffee at the CCD chain of outlets.  

Talking specifically about senior management, CxOs, owners of large organisations,  the entrepreneurs who have just launched their start up, or wanting to grow their Ventures, it is a great deal of stress that they shoulder from various quarters.

For the outside world, though they seem highly accomplished and successful, which they may be in reality; the daily dose of massive challenges that they face could be daunting.

Some of the reasons why they feel that there is no way out, how some of these challenges / failures push them towards acts of self harm and suicide.

• Challenges are high and asking for support is difficult.

The challenges that they face are myriad at the same time if those challenges are handled in the right way, it can be very fulfilling.  The challenges could be professional or personal or both. These challenges need to be faced on an everyday basis and there is no scope for failure for them, or at least that is the belief that many hold on to.  Though support is available, there is a hesitation to ask for support.

• Pride, Guilt and Shame

When they are responsible for their shareholders, their employees, organisation for continuously delivering results, profits and growth, it becomes a huge sense of shame and guilt, when faced with failure / inability to deliver, hurting the sense of pride, leading to real or perceived humiliation which becomes too much to bear.

• Loneliness at the top

Though it is a cliché, it is also fairly true.  The higher they are in an organization the less the number of people that they can openly share challenges with.  Competition is tough and there is a need to be wary of people who might take advantage of the situation.  Having someone to have a heart to heart talk, to share insecurities, apprehensions, to speak out fears who would really understand where they are coming from is a rarity.  When one is successful and strong, people around find it hard believe that they also can have fears, insecurities and real problems.

• Mental health and other health issues

Chronic and long-term stress and stress response have been found to possibly give rise to mental health issues like anxiety / depression etc. It is also true that this leads to different kinds of physical ailments as well, adding more to the stress of the person. Though there has been some movement in seeking support for mental health issues, we still have a long way to go, to not let the stigma stop one from accessing the right kind of help needed.

• Constant need to stay connected and inability to switch off

The need to be constantly on top of things, and unable to switch off or make time for themselves, deprives them of a recharge and to replenish their own personal sense of Wellness.

• Personality strengths could also be their nemesis

The drive, need for perfection, dogged pursuit, focus, high performance etc that all considered to be great traits for an entrepreneur or a CxO, also can lead to burn out and difficulties to deal with failures in many situations.

• Feeling Helpless and hopeless

When Challenges seem insurmountable, and all efforts to address the challenges seem to go down the drain, a sense of helplessness and hopelessness builds within. And even when there are possible avenues available, they all seem futile and inaccessible because they are seen through the lenses of hopelessness.

Though there are no simple answers to complex problems, there still are certain things that we can do that are universally applicable to every one of us, from CEOs to beginners to take care of self.

1. To be able to see yourself of intrinsic value and worth, rather than only a reflection of the accomplishments in life or the challenges and failures that you have faced.

2. Seek the right kind of help and support needed.  Some support can come from family and friends. But you might need more support from a Legal advisor, a financial support group, a trusted mentor, a doctor, a therapist or a coach etc.  Ask for help from relevant people, hire a crisis management expert and if you don’t have the right person around you, seek them out. Asking for help is strength not weakness. A multi pronged approach may be needed. If you have thoughts of self harm talk to some one you trust. Keep talking to some one till you get the help you need.

3. Take time out for self care and rejuvenation.  Have a ready set of healthy avenues for self care.  It could be meditation, mindfulness, Yoga, exercise, travel, being in nature, music and so on.  Find out what works for you and replenish yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally.

4. Have a good team to back you up. Building a team that you can trust and rely upon is essential to share your responsibilities and burden. Have people around you who can take bottom-line on their responsibilities.

5.  You as a whole are greater than the sum of your parts. You may play the roles of a Owner/CeO/CxO/Entrepreneur, parent, son/daughter, boss, sibling and so on.  You as a whole are more important than all the roles that you play.

If you see some in your circle who seem troubled, do not keep quiet / do nothing. Talk to them appropriately, offer confidentiality and do not judge them. Even if you cant help them directly, encourage them to get support/help as appropriate. Even the most powerful will have their weak moments where they need to be supported.

I close with a quote from Rudyard Kipling’s famous poem – “If”

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;  
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;  
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;  
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
…..
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,  
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

And that is for a Woman too.

About the Author:

Kala Balasubramanian is a certified Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. As a trained therapist, she provides professional and confidential – face to face Counselling in Bangalore including Individual counselling and Couples counselling / Marriage counselling in Bangalore and Online Counselling over video calls for others residing outside Bangalore and abroad.

Reach us at +919632146316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in. Counselling in Bangalore is provided face to face – in person. For out station requirements, we provide online counselling over video calls.

The post Top management and high stress – deadly combo. What can be done first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.

Have you noticed how you kind of feel breathless at the end of a roaring laughter? Laughing makes you take gulps of air increasing the oxygen intake which is essential to generate more energy in your cells. The more you laugh the more you get oxygen into your cells.

When you laugh you generate many good chemicals in your body, like Serotonin. An imbalance in Serotonin levels is believed to influence the mood in a significant way. Any problems in the generation of usage of Serotonin in our body can lead to problems like depression, anxiety, panic, excessive anger etc. So you can just laugh your heart out to induce your brain to generate more serotonin. Easy and simple way to protect yourself.

A sense of humor helps you to see the issue at hand with a different perspective. When you can see the funny side of any situation, you are reducing the impact of the stressful situation on yourself. You may even come up with different ways of handling or dealing with the situation.

Yes it is true when the age old saying goes – “Laughter is the Best Medicine”

So if you are asking – so how do I help myself laugh?

Go on, get that movie that made you laugh how many ever times you see it.
Join a comedy club or laughter club.
Search for funny videos in You tube or watch that laughter show that you always enjoyed.

Go on – get yourself a dose of that rib tickling laughter and say bye bye to stress.

The post Laughter for stress relief first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.

When we were cave men and women, when we were faced with threatening situations in our environment, for e.g., faced with a Tiger, our body responded to the threat. The heart beats faster, pumping more blood to the peripheral organs like hands and legs. The lungs dilate and increased breathing provides more oxygen to the muscles to help generate more energy. The liver releases glucose for energy. We sweat, there is an increase in blood pressure. Adrenalin is pumped into our blood that helps us either to run away or to stay and fight with the threat (flight or fight response).

Our body doesn’t differentiate between life threatening situations and a psychological threat like a deadline, traffic jam or an overwhelming emotion. When we feel threatened or overwhelmed by the situation our body reacts exactly in the same way that it reacted thousands of years ago as though we are faced with a tiger. This is what we call Stress response. The situation is called the stressor.

Stress can be good too. This is called Eustress – e.g., The exam times makes us study harder or deadlines makes us perform better, in the face of an imminent collision – we become alert and slam the brakes to avoid it. Beyond a threshold, the stress becomes Distress. When that happens we are unable to study, performance goes down, energy levels come down, and we are unable to focus.

When distress occurs over a prolonged period of time (chronic), our body is subjected to the stress response (like increased BP etc.) for a prolonged period of time. Wear and tear occurs, leading to both Physiological and Psychological illnesses. Physically – hypertension, ulcers, heart diseases etc., can occur. Psychologically – depression, anxiety disorders, mood swings, irritability etc., can occur. Some suppressed emotions can also manifest physically as Psychosomatic Disorders.

This would occur if we haven’t learned to manage the stress and our response in a better manner, and to keep it under the threshold. Can this be done? Thankfully the answer is a “YES”.

There are many techniques of relaxation that can help manage stress better. It could be meditation, yoga, relaxation, deep breathing etc., that can cause a state of relaxation that is the opposite of the stress response.

It is not just enough to learn techniques for stress management, (which of course is beneficial), but it is also important to understand the stressors, the triggering factors etc. It is also important to understand and be aware of the emotions that are evoked in us and to be able to accept, express and manage them in an effective way.

If you would like to meet with a professional counsellor, call us at +91 96321 46316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in

We provide professional and confidential counselling services at different locations in Bangalore – Jayanagar, Koramangala, Cox Town, Marathahalli, Mahadevpura.

The post Stress first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.