In today’s fast-changing social landscape, young adults are putting mental health at the heart of their relationships. This shift is especially visible among Bengaluru’s Gen-Z and young millennials, a cohort reshaping how we think about connection, commitment and emotional health. According to relationship experts, this isn’t just a trend; it’s a fundamental change in priorities and relational values.

Inner Dawn Counsellor Kala Balasubramanian’s views featured in Deccan Herald on 19-Nov-25.

Gen-Z and Emotional Literacy: Red Flags, Boundaries, and Compatibility

Five years ago, terms like toxic, gaslighting or attachment styles were mainly clinical jargon. Today, they’re part of everyday conversations among young partners and daters. This heightened emotional vocabulary reflects a generation that:

• Recognises red flags early
• Prioritises healthy boundaries
• Values self-awareness and mutual respect

Instead of suppressing discomfort, Gen-Z engages in conscious relationship building, treating emotional intelligence as a core aspect of compatibility.

Why Mental Health Now Trumps Old Relationship Norms

 Several surveys indicate that a majority of young adults in India are comfortable discussing mental health with partners and see emotional support as a key component of a strong relationship. The Gen-z views that Openness about feelings is now seen as a relationship asset, not a vulnerability. Setting emotional boundaries is seen as a form of self-care and mutual respect.

These trends suggest that today’s young adults are not afraid to pause, reflect, and recalibrate rather than rush into connections that don’t align with their well-being goals.

What This Means for Relationship Culture

Gone are the days when silence about emotional needs was considered strength. Today’s young people are willing to initiate conversations about mental health early in relationships and evaluate if the relationship is enhancing their mental health or depleting it.

For relationship professionals, therapists, and anyone involved in couples counselling, these shifts signal a broader cultural moment, one where mental wellness is inseparable from romantic bonding.

Mental health, Emotional Awareness, Emotional literacy, capacity for Empathy are emerging as relationship parameters

Mental health isn’t just a sidebar in Gen-Z relationships; it’s often the central narrative that shapes how young adults choose, sustain, or exit partnerships. As emotional awareness becomes the new green flag in dating culture, we’re witnessing a healthier, more intentional form of connection that values well-being as much as affection.

The post Mental Health Comes First for Gen-Z in Relationships first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.

In an era of evolving social norms, the debate around live-in relationships in India is becoming increasingly relevant. A recent piece in Deccan Herald highlights why experts believe that live-in partnerships need formal legal recognition, focusing on the emotional, psychological, and social challenges faced by couples who choose cohabitation outside marriage.

Inner Dawn Counsellor Kala Balasubramanian’s views featured in Deccan Herald on 01-Oct-25

Live-In Relationships in India: A Changing Reality

Many couples in India opt to live together without marriage for personal reasons, yet this choice often exists in a legal grey zone. Experts say that the lack of legal recognition contributes to:

• Anxiety and insecurity in partners over their rights and future.
• Family conflicts, with parents or relatives frequently unaware or unsupportive of the arrangement.
• Mental health stressors, as couples juggle societal stigma and uncertain legal protections.

Why Experts Are Calling for Legal Recognition

Therapists and relationship specialists argue that legal status would:

• Help safeguard emotional and financial rights of both individuals.
• Reduce the power imbalance and exploitation that can occur when one partner feels insecure about their position.
• Provide clarity in matters such as child custody, property rights, inheritance, and domestic responsibilities.

Without a legal framework, many couples are left vulnerable when relationships change or break down. Recognition could provide much-needed structure and legal recourse similar to what marriages afford.

Live-In Relationships, Law, and Social Acceptance

India’s legal stance currently allows adults to cohabit, and the Supreme Court has affirmed the constitutional right to choose one’s partner. However, this right does not automatically translate into full legal protection or social security benefits. Courts in various states have made rulings to bridge some gaps, but a comprehensive law is still missing.  And there still the matter of social acceptance of couples in live-in relationships.

The recent crimes reported in the media, where the harm has allegedly been caused by the live-in partner, have really put a spotlight on the vulnerability of the state of live-in relationships and the level of social acceptance of such relationships.

What would legalization mean for couples in live-in relationships

As lifestyles shift and relationships evolve, the conversation around legalising live-in partnerships gains urgency. For couples choosing this path, it’s not just about cohabitation but about rights, dignity, and security. Recognising live-in ties legally could be a transformative step toward modernising family law in India.

The post Live-In Relationships in India: The Need for Laws first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.

Kindness – the missing key ingredient in relationships today

When people get married they start with a vow to love and cherish each other. But overtime they start wondering where the love has gone and the cherishing has been replaced by complaints, faults and resentment.

In my work as a couple’s therapist, one of the common reasons for this that one key ingredient in their relationship is missing.  And that ingredient is kindness.

Many a times we are so kind, polite and nice to even strangers.  We are kind to our colleagues, to our friends, our neighbours. We adjust and strive to stay in the good books of our managers, don’t we?

But very often couples find it difficult to be kind to each other, despite being able to be kind, polite and nice to many others in their life, be it friends colleague, relatives etc.  The Question that does arise is, sometimes, why do the partners reserve most of their criticism, harshness, rudeness, even be nastiness to each other? Why can’t they be kind to each other?

Here are seven barriers to kindness in relationships today.

1. I am better than you.

There are times in our lives where a healthy competition can be a positive motivator for us to do better.  But when the competitiveness between the couple leads them to often show each other that I am better than you then it damages the relationship.  Fierce competitiveness, by its nature doesn’t allow kindness, understanding and empathy in a relationship.

2. I am right you are wrong.

When a couple come for relationship counselling, as a couple therapist I explain to them the concept of neutrality – i.e. I will not take sides between the two of them. I also explain to them that we will not get into to a discussion of who is right and who is wrong. 

It comes as such a surprise to so many couples, because in their day-to-day lives, most of their conflicts arise from their thought process that “I am right and you are wrong”.  This stance makes them indignant and feel righteous does not allow the partners to show kindness to each other.  I usually tell them sometimes it is possible that may be both of you are right in certain ways and maybe both of you are wrong in certain ways.

3. Power struggle.

During the initial courtship period, the partners try to address each other’s needs, cater to each other expectations, agree on most things, even go beyond trying to please each other and impress each other. But this is not sustainable in the long run. There will be differences in each other’s point of view, values, opinion, beliefs etc. When a disagreement arises each one tries to establish their point of view over the other’s perspective. Each one tries to establish their power over the other in relationships.

4. Taking each other for granted.

Over a period of time if the couple take each other for granted, they are not motivated to put in the effort to be kind and compassionate to each other.  It is a common refrain “Of course I love my partner. Shouldn’t my partner know that by now? Why should I keep showing it again and again?”. This takes away the possibility of being kind in our relationships.

Here they expect their partner to mind read and understand their love without expressing it in any manner. Laziness is also another reason why the effort to be kind to each other dwindles overtime.

5.  Fear of rejection.

Though one Partner might be inclined to be kind, the fear that their offer of kindness might be rejected by the other partner, might stop one from being kind. A past painful experience of rejection may also stop the partner from expressing kindness.

6. One’s needs are more important than the other’s.

When one partner considers their needs to be more important than the other partner’s needs, there is little or no focus on the other person. A sense of entitlement makes the relationship pretty skewed.  The partner feeling entitled is not able to offer kindness to the other, and kindness offered by the other partner is not valued. And over time the other partner also stops being kind.

7. I am hurt and I will hurt you back.

In couple relationships conflicts are given.  And when there are conflicts either or both of them might get hurt.  When the partners act in a vengeful manner that I am hurt and I will hurt you back, that will be no kindness in these interactions.

Your partner chose you among all the other options and choices that they had.  Learning to treasure and cherish your relationship is one of the key steps in having a healthy relationship. A loving and kind relationship is a wonderful safe space for you to be yourself, to grow, to love – be loved, to heal, to go through the ups and downs of life along with your partner.

About the Author:

Kala Balasubramanian is a certified Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. As a trained therapist, she provides professional and confidential – face to face Counselling in Bangalore including Individual counselling and Couples counselling / Marriage counselling in Bangalore and Online Counselling over video calls for others residing outside Bangalore and abroad.

Reach us at +919632146316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in. If in Bangalore, you can meet the counselor in person – face to face. If you are in a different location you can ask for online counselling over video calls.

The post Why is it difficult to offer kindness in our relationships? first appeared on Inner Dawn Counselling.