8th of March is International Women’s Day. A day that is seen as, a day to celebrate women, challenges and accomplishments. We dress up, send greeting messages on WhatsApp and Facebook, there are celebrations on media, advertisements, corporate celebrations and so on.  But is that all? Is it just another reason to feel good and go back to a routine as always? Is it possible that we – you and I make a positive impact on our society?

I would say every single day of the year we need to celebrate, and remember women’s challenges, accomplishments and not just stop at that, but to see how each one of us can take affirmative actions to support and work towards an equitable society, by supporting and encouraging each other.

No man or no woman can ever be born or live with no interdependency. The real question to ask us rather than take opposite sides of the problem can we make the world a better place by addressing the problem together, collaboratively, in a way that men, women and all genders can we all support each other.

The theme for International women’s day 2022 is #BreakTheBias

To build a gender equal world. A world that is free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that is diverse, inclusive and with fair and equitable opportunities. Together we can make this world. Collectively we can #BreakTheBias.

Let me be clear this bias may not just be from one gender to the other only, because, we all somewhere hold on to some kind of a bias towards another person or gender or community perhaps even without awareness.

On one side where there are open discriminatory practices and prejudices existing in the garb of culture, tradition, social practices etc.  Gender imparity is one of the root causes as well as a maintained outcome of social practices like dowry, female foeticide, infanticide, education disparity, harassment, control and so on.

On the other hand, there exists-Status blind thinking, that allows one to be unaware of one’s own status and power an act in ways that are discriminatory in innumerable invisible ways.

Where does this occur? Sadly everywhere. In every space. At every age. Personal space, social space, workspace, educational space, marital space, child bearing, responsibilities you name it and it happens at all social strata.

According to World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report 2021

On its current trajectory, it will now take 135.6 years to close the gender gap worldwide. Not in our generation.  Not our child’s generation perhaps may be not even in our grand child’s generation.

What can be done about it? We can talk about laws, enforcement, police, Judiciary, company policies etc. But it takes a lot of political will and administrative commitment and time to put this into implementation. As important as they are, let us keep in mind that they are primarily structures.

End of day it is the people like you and me who need to bring about the change both In these structures and outside.  

It is easy to get lost in the enormity of the problem and feel helpless and powerless. So the question is What can you and I do? How do we use our personal power to bring about a change? How Can we recognise and realise our personal power? 

Here are five possible spaces where we can recognise and leverage our personal power to make a shift happen. Every small shift matters. Every bit of growth counts. Though I am listing 5 possibilities here, there could be many more oppportunities.

1. Support yourself and others in your own way

Lets start with women.  Ladies – the first step is to look at yourself and recognise your own personal power. For eg To keep your needs – be it physical, mental and emotional needs as priority and address them.

Can you look at other women and offer a word of encouragement or a simple means of support This could be a colleague or a neighbour or relative. for example – if you have a employee like a domestic help or other service person with an adolescent daughter

– Can you help them talk to their child about good touch- bad touch, puberty, menstruation, sexual health, safety, etc. And if your employee doesn’t understand it, you can volunteer to impart awareness to the child. Without the right kind of guidance and awareness of safety and sexuality, young girls become easy targets for unsafe sex and sexual abuse. And you can help.

–  Lets talk about another simple way in which you can be impactful. It is very sad that even today, many young girls stop going to school after reaching puberty for not having access to healthy sanitary products. Can you offer to order extra set of napkins every month for their child. This would be low on their priority of expenses, but one that which the child really needs.

2. Moulding your own children as parents

Parents – teach your children to respect each other, teach them the same set of life skills irrespective of gender. Teach your children to learn and respect boundaries. Teach them to say “NO” and reject violence and abuse. Teach them to stand up for themselves and others. As parents u shape your children’s attitude and approach towards themselves and the others. It is important that you get rid of your own biases and walk the talk. When you teach your children an unbiased approach and equality, it is important that you model it for them by being respectful, caring and sharing responsibilities equitably with your partner and others.

3. Assert yourself in social customs that are damaging

For eg – Unmarried adult – if you are an adult who is looking for a relationship or a marriage partner

– Think about a partnership that would be equitable

– Talk about finances, contribution and understand how that has impact on your relationship

– Say no to dowry. Be it Asking, or offering, no matter how much it is, big or small.   

– Talk about how decisions would be made in your relationship. Is there a preference for a male child? How will the decisions regarding whether, when and how many children to have?

– There are many other topics too.  But these could be a starting point.

4. Be a socially conscious citizen

When you see or come across any discrimination or harassment or bullying happening in social circles, neighbourhood, in your family or in your workplace do not be silent. Being silent or being a passive bystander only and encourages it even more. Do whatever is safe to stop it. You could make an anonymous complaint. You can make your presence felt.  What you allow you encourage.

5. Initiate a conversation

For any real change to happen, first of all there has to be conversations around it. So talk about your issues and challenges. Talk about topics like equality, menstruation, sex, violence, pregnancy, contraception, safety, support, standing up, saying no and so on. When topics stop remaining taboo, and when there is an open conversation on dialogue, it is a good starting point for a social change to happen.

So let us not stop with just celebrations for the day, pat ourselves in the back and forget it at the end of day.

Let’s be bold.

Let’s take affirmative actions.

Let’s be the change that we want to see in our society.

Currently with the COVID-19 situation, all counselling and therapy services are offered online over video calls. Reach us at +91 9632146316 or write to us at counselor@innerdawn.in

About the Author:

Kala Balasubramanian is a certified Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist with a Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Diplomas in Counselling and has further certifications specializing in couple/marriage/relationship counselling and family counselling. She is trained in different modalities like CBT, Gestalt, NLP, Family Systems Therapy, Transactional Analysis etc. As a trained therapist, she provides professional and confidential counselling services including Individual counselling and Couples counselling / Marriage counselling

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