Gen-Z – Relationship challenges in the age of instant gratification
In this day and age, where instant gratification is the norm, marked by quick commerce, dating apps, shorts, and reels, it is understandable that Gen-Z finds sustaining relationships difficult. Truth be told, relationship challenges are a reality for all age groups.
Social medial and online influence on relationship challenges
We are progressively more influenced by social media and online influencers. One may have thousands of friends/followers on social media. But in real, how much support do we have on the ground is a big question. Gen-Z also prefers text to talking, meeting, and spending time, which affects the quality of connection in relationships. Phubbing is a common occurrence, being on the phone when you are physically with another person.
Long-term/lasting Relationships do not work in the instant gratification mode. All parties involved need to invest time, effort, and energy into the relationship to make it work, to make it fulfilling. Relationships, no matter how good they are, may not always be convenient. Commitment to a relationship and the effort needed to make it work cannot change and shift based on convenience.
The need for Resilience
Unrealistic expectations in relationships compounded by low levels of resilience mean a failure or a rejection feels like an insurmountable challenge. There’s a tendency to move from one relationship to the next with minimal or no time spent in reflection or processing the grief of the breakup, learning from the loss, etc.
It is important to emphasize that lasting relationships inherently involve emotional labour. That means the partners need to manage their own emotions and cater to the needs of the other. Conflicts and disagreements need to be managed and resolved without damaging the other or crumbling your self-esteem. Without emotional awareness and the capability to hold self and the other, there is limited scope for emotional connection, emotional intimacy, and bonding.
I believe that we need to start early with children. Parents play a big role here in offering an emotionally inviting and safe home environment. Schools need to start teaching about emotional literacy, empathy, and compassion. And progressively, at different age groups, colleges and organizations need to take up emotional intelligence and interpersonal effectiveness.
A course offered by Delhi University titled ‘Negotiating Intimate Relationships’ is a step in the right direction.
Inner Dawn counsellor Kala Balasubramanian’s views featured in Deccan Herald (13-Jun-25).